Comedy of errors

Over the past few years, i have had a series of mishaps. My wife tags it as disasters, I call them comedy of errors. Now be it the microwave burning while talking to a chick in the hallway or using a fire extinguisher to make Maggie noodles (dont even ask how) or how i lost 4 phones in a span of 3 months.

A coupla years back on one of my assignments with IBM, i was on a conference call with about 30 folks (u all know how those calls are). I had a VP of Sales, Mr.Timbuktu. He was on a mad rampage and would not let anyone speak on the call. This fiesta went on for about 20-25 mins of the 30 min call we had...ARGHH. So I decided to vent out some of my anger by IMing my associate Captain GoGo (..of course i am not going to list out the real names)

me: Dude...when will Timbuktu stop. Hes driving me nuts. I wish he'd stop right now..my brains are fried
(brief pause)
Timbuktu : oh, i will stop right now.
(oh gosh!! i had IMed my VP instead of my associate, telling him hes an idiot. How can i do that. People who know me said "Only you can do that")
me: Sign out

The next day we had a awkward moment, but then we laughed over it.

I have had a few comedy of errors in my life in things I have done or said or even heard. I went to a school in Mumbai PCT college of Engg..(almost as famous or infamuous as MIT ...lol who am i kidding). Apart from valuable lessons on Engg I also learned Pinglish (PCT-English) . Some of the moments we still revlive ...

A professor in a telecomm branch catches 3 students copying in class. He asks them to stand up and...

Prof: You both all 3 get out .......(both..all 3 huh)
Prof: Also i want you to get all your fathers
(all your fathers ..are you kidding me)

Prof: oh wait ...u get your mother ur father and both ur parents

I was in the Computer Engg and file submission is the most critical time in the 4 year of college and no matter how much i tried i never got my file submitted on time...So i reach to college very early (the next day of submission) and the prof has just come in.... My prof is this guy who's english is kinda like minglish (marathi + english). So i go in the lab

me: Sir, may i come in

Prof: kashala (why)

me: Sir, file submission

Prof: aree....सकल सकल डोका नाकू फिराव (sakal sakal dok nako phirav)

me :excuse me what???? (now i am desi guju guy, me no speak marathi)

Prof: Morning Morning dont rotate my head ...(Rotate...huh...oh wait he translated it literally) .

Prof : Go open the doors of the windows and let the atmosphere come in. (!!! atmosphere!! ..at that point i had to leave)

I love giving exams (ya rite!) specially the surprise tests. They are best not because they are taken unannounced and you are shocked but its the surprise you get after the tests...

Aree dude, aaj mera surprise test tha. Waise to maine pura paper attempt kiya but I think mera ek answer to surely right hai. (pure paper mein ek answer...waah mere einstein).

The surprise comes when you get the tests back you realize you get 0/100. If the profs could negative i am sure they would. Speaking of surprise tests i remember something which happened in a Telecomm class

Prof: Students i am going to take a surprise test

students: ahhhhh

Prof: Yes, surprise test ....any Thursday of next week. OK.

Really, so much for the surprise.

I am sure my class mates have much more to add on to this, i hope i can reach out to some of them and add thier Pinglish here.

Me, myself and google

google
noun
1.
a widely used search engine that uses text-matching techniques to find web pages that are important and relevant to a user's search


Like any other human being on this planet i am hugely dependent on google. Its no secret that is one of the best thing that has happened to most of us but where are we heading with it and how far we got there...

No point looking at the pristine past, there is a zillion web pages and books which describe the rise of google.

But how far can we take the dependency on search. I am sure in a coming decades we will be able to not only search our desktop, world wide web, documents,the EARTH but also our brains. May be i am google "where is my black jacket" and it comes back with "Its in the laundramat (you moron). Here is the google map link to get you there"

A new article put this out "A NEW Google program powered by artificial intelligence allows internet users to search web pages 24 hours before they're created"'
BEFORE THEY ARE CREATED, are you shitting me....

(Dont know the authenticity) There is an initiative to promote AD'a via cell phone. So the days of getting promotions on cell phone are long gone. The smart technology is going to use the cell phone signals and send you promotions and ad's based on your location. So the next time you are walking on 6th avenue, you might get the 20% discount coupon for Bloomingdales or the next time you are looking fake Gucci bags in China town you may have a google map sent to you on where to find chinese loooking japanese selling $30 Gucci bags..you never know.

The company which whos first-quarter net income rose to $1.4 billion (despite the stock almost down 40% from in a year) is gaining on in every region be it health care,entertainment or technology..the list is endless.

NO. They havent hired me on promoting it, but i have to give my own respects to something that is start my day with. I am well aware of the school of thought that exposes the dark side of "google" addiction but for now "Google 2084" is on track. But then....what do i know.

The first one

So i wake up from a deep tech hibernation to find out world is all ahead of me with Facebook, Twitter ...Suddenly having a iPhone or a blackberry or an equivalent toy is a must.

So i had to rattle some gray matter and think of rejoining the new mad surge. So the obvious thing to ride this surge was to begin blogging (which means i am now only 10 years behind the tech revolution). I also got myself a new twitter account



So since this is the #1 blog i thought i will introduce "me" on my own blog (sounds like a new Paradox)...



So "me"....



...is also called as "topi"
....is a huge a huge fan of NY Giants, Spurs and Yankees
...is a Software Geek who works @ Consulting firm in NY

...is a couch potoato who loves to watch movies and sports all day
...is absolutely not a morning person
...loves desi food to the core
...does not follow politics (but does know all the possible political scandals)
...does not believe in astrology or numerology (and hard work either but wudnt admit it) but believes strongly in destiny
...is hugely unpredictable, very disciplined, passionate about career and can gossip all day
...is big time faatoo a.k.a scared of sky diving, deep sea cruises, bungee jumping
...is a lucky SOB to have a loving and supportive wife, great gang of friends and a sweet family for whom he would die for (surprisingly they'd do the same for him)

Thats what i think about "me"......but then what do I know ........